Better In Time
by Wicked Dickie
Summary: Izzie is dying and Cristina is pregnant. Takes place a month or two after "Elevator Love Letter."


A/N: This story tales place a month or two after "Elevator Love Letter". Izzie's still dying and Cristina and Owen have gotten back together.

--

Cristina gives a hollow laugh. "I have got to be the most fertile freaking woman in the world."

There's a pause as Meredith figures out what she means. "You're pregnant?"

Cristina nods, running her hands through her hair.

"Are you going to tell Owen?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to keep it?"

"I don't know."

"I can't believe you're pregnant again. You'd think that after what happened last time you'd learn your lesson about using protection," Meredith says reproachfully, fully aware that she sounds like Cristina's mother but unable to stop herself.

"Yes, _I know_, Meredith. You don't think I don't know that? That thought's crossed my mind at leasta hundred times already," Cristina snaps.

Meredith continues, unfazed by her best friend's prickliness. "But at the same time…what are the chances? You have one fallopian tube and didn't you tell me you guys only slept together once? This is kind of a miracle."

"…That thought's crossed my mind a hundred times, too," says Cristina softly.

The fact that she isn't calling the nearest clinic and setting up an appointment for the next available opening doesn't escape Meredith. But she knows better than to press the issue, at least at the moment, so she lets it go and the two sit quietly at the foot of the bed for a moment.

Meredith is still wary of Owen even though he is getting better, but Derek pointed out that she found it in her heart to feel compassion for a serial killer so forgiving Owen shouldn't be too difficult. She's seen how much Owen cares about Cristina and knows Derek is right.

--

Cristina enters Izzie's room quietly. The others are in surgery and she has her interns' charts to go over but she knows Izzie must be bored out of her mind knitting all day. Izzie looks up and smiles brightly.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"So…what's up? What's the scoop? Anything crazy happening out there?" Izzie's dying for some good gossip.

"No," Cristina replies, and it's true. Things have quieted down. The staff seems to have rallied around Izzie and put all disagreements aside for the moment. The room is buried in get-well cards and flowers and gift baskets and chocolates.

"What? Really? Nothing? I'm stuck in a boring room all day. My entire world consists of knitting and daytime television. You have to give me _something_!"

Cristina takes a chocolate, carefully unwrapping it. "Well…I'm pregnant," she says nonchalantly. She's aware of how much this confession would mean to Izzie.

"What? Really? Oh my God…!" Izzie starts to gush, and congratulations are on the tip of her tongue before she remembers that this is Cristina.

"Is it…It's Owen's, right?" She avoids the question of whether or not Cristina's going to keep it because she doesn't want to know the answer. She wants to entertain the thought of Cristina starting a family, to savor the hope of new life, for a little while longer.

"Have you told him?" Cristina shakes her head. "Are you going to?"

"I don't know yet." Then, "Yes."

--

"I have one fallopian tube," Cristina begins. Owen looks up, and she looks straight into his eyes and steels herself. "I had an ectopic pregnancy and I lost a tube. Hundreds of perfectly healthy – fertile – women try for months – years – to get pregnant, and I'm…somehow…" she trails off.

Owen is silent for a few moments, waiting for her to continue, and when she doesn't, he asks, tentatively, "Cristina…are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I'm pregnant," she confirms. She's getting this shaky feeling and she kind of wants to throw up. What's wrong with her? Cristina realizes with a start that she's nervous.

Owen is staring at her and she can't figure out what he's thinking. Cristina forces herself to keep her ass glued to the seat even though instinct is telling her to run.

"We don't have to discuss this right now," she says hastily. "I just thought you should know."

"Cristina…I – I want children with you, I do – but I'm not…" His face twists at this next painful admission. "Right now, I'm not someone who has any business becoming a father, not after –"

"I understand," she interrupts. "It's ok, I get it." Cristina understands him, but doesn't understand herself – she should be relieved, not disappointed. She stands abruptly, no longer able to force herself to be seated. Owen grabs a hold of her wrist.

"Cristina," he says, and waits patiently until she makes eye contact. "I want kids with you, more than anything." His eyes convey how sincere he is, and she relaxes a little. "I need time to think."

--

"Are you going to keep it?" Izzie asks. They're sitting in the hospital room, alone again because the others are in surgery. There are wedding-related catalogues scattered all over the bed and they're both idly flipping through them.

Cristina thinks of how it would be if Izzie weren't dying. Izzie would be all excited and bubbly and in her face about all the wonderful joys of motherhood and she would go on for hours about how cute and smart babies were and how they had their entire lives ahead of them. Izzie's the one who would keep being excited when Cristina got sick of being pregnant. She'd knit nauseatingly cute clothes that Cristina would never let a child of hers wear, and she'd bake red velvet cupcakes (Cristina's favorite) just when Cristina craved them the most (because Izzie knew these things without anyone having to tell her), and when the baby came Izzie would coo and smile and speak baby-talk non-stop until Cristina chased her off.

It would be so much easier to make a decision about the baby if Izzie weren't dying. If Izzie's eggs weren't being harvested for a future she may never have, and if she wasn't planning Meredith and Derek's wedding – the one she may not live to attend, and if Alex didn't love Izzie as much as he does, and if he hadn't fully committed himself to a relationship just in time to realize why he generally avoided doing so before – fear of loss. It would be so much easier.

Suddenly, she wants to cry, because it's finally hit her that Izze's _dying_. But Cristina keeps the tears at bay – she can't cry in front of Izzie; not because of pride but because she has to help Izzie believe she'll get better.

"Yes," she says finally, and it surprises her. Until now she hadn't known she had made a decision. "Yes, I am."

Izzie's smile is brilliant.


End file.
